Mon. Feb 26th, 2024

By Samuel Strait, Reporter at Large – October 27, 2021

It seems like this must be some kind of comic strip to only be found in
newspapers like the Sacramento Bee, the Los Angeles Times or the San
Francisco Chronicle, but, no, President Ice Cream Cone has tapped

Governor Hair Gel to be a member of the United States delegation to the
United Nation’s “dog and pony show” in Glasgow, Scotland for Climate
Change.  Lost on the world of environmental extremism is the ability to
forego the carbon guzzling extreme of in person meetings by world
leaders with the resort to “zoom” meetings or some other on line meeting
format readily available. But Hey, nothing like an in person face to
maskless face by the world’s government leadership to show that rules
for thee, don’t in any way mean that they have to abide by the same rules.

Naturally Newson accompanied by his ever faithful first person, Jennifer
Siebel Newsom, is jetting off for a blissful, relaxing week long
vacation in Scotland to extol the virtues of California’s immersion in
economic suicide under his majesty Newsom’s steadfast magic wand
waving.  The fact that businesses are fleeing California’s onerous
climate change policies, creating an enviable 7.5% unemployment rate,
highest in the nation where the nation is struggling to unearth more
employees, is an accomplishment truly to be recognized……in Glasgow.

With not a hair out of place, compliments of his daily hairstylist’s
efforts, Governor “empty suit” will jet off to the Climate Change Bash
next week, leaving California’s Democrat legislature to stumble and
bumble through hearings trying to make sense of just how $20 billion in
fraudulent EDD money managed to be given out. 

Of the $177 billion of Pandemic ladened “pork” that was doled out during said virus panic it
appears that at least $20 billion was received by “criminal gangs and
organized crime”  How could that have happened in Newsom’s environmentally
“pure” State of California?

But Hey, with the brisk, fresh air to be found in choke, choke, Glasgow,
Scotland, what more can the empty suit ask for?  Surely the legislature
can do without his majesty’s magic wand for a few days, after all there
is “zoom” to fill the distance from Scotland back to California.  Never
mind the fact that California’s EDD has a backlog of 119,000 unprocessed
unemployment claims, 80,000 of which are new or reopened cases, the
climate party must go on.

Rita Saenz, Director of EDD

Party with some one else’s money is Hair Gel’s
imperial right after all.  Can’t indulged in scary problems like the
State’s unemployment trust fund is nearly $20 billion in deficit, can
we? Maybe President Ice Cream Cone can be prevailed upon to plug the
hole, after all he’s not bound by pesky little things like balanced
budgets, he can just raise the debt limit.

Never fear, those businesses already struggling under California’s
imperial Covid mandates, like on and off business closures and vaccine
mandates, will be asked to pick up the slack when Newsom’s government
borrows money from the Feds to plug EDD fund shortfall.  What a pleasure
it must be for California’s businesses to cover Hair Gel’s posterior for
EDD fraud on the Governor’s watch.  But what the Heck!  Another $600 in
stimulus money will soon find its way into your bank account or mailbox
to compensate for the State’s robbery of your wallet all in the name of
Climate Change, that hasn’t really made an appearance as yet. You know,
the Climate Change Hair Gel insists is happening as he speaks, where
most every one else isn’t seeing much of a real change.

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